Longing

Hey all,

I have been reading my old diary from a few days. Earlier I had this habit of jotting down words that I felt were absolutely delightful. In fact beautiful words; like beautiful ladies have always made me feel a sense of longing for something unrecognizable. I have tried to fathom but never succeeded in finding what it is that makes me feel love, disappointment, sadness and grief all at once. This longing; she is my tormenter as well as my solace. Like a jealous lover she rebukes me, but seeing me sad her heart melts and she comforts my desolate soul. Time progresses and our love hate relationship matures. It is like those haggard couples that grow old fighting acrimoniously, never agree on anything under the sun, rake up nightmares from the past and fill their life with bitterness- but never give up. Because they realize that they are incomplete without each other. There is music even in the chaos.

Anyways, coming back to my five-year-old diary, I found this beautiful poem written by Faiz Ahmed Faiz. This is an English translation of the original. I do not know who did it but I am very thankful to him as I do not know Urdu. So here it goes. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do every time I read it.

MUSIC BY NIGHT

Midnight, moon, self-forgetfulness;

The assemblage of existence is desolate,

Silence is the embodiment of longing,

The gathering of stars is a melancholy thing,

The waterfall of silence is flowing,

On the four sides a sort of unconsciousness is prevailing.

Life is like a part of a dream,

All the world is like a mirage;

On the dense trees is sleeping

The tired voice of moonlight;

The Milky Way with half open glances

Breathes legends of self surrendering love;

From the heart’s unplucked strings

Echoes of blissful raptures drift -

Longings, dreams and your beautiful face.

- Faiz Ahmed Faiz

Cynara

I have forgot much, Cynara! gone with the wind,

Flung roses, roses, riotously, with the throng,

Dancing, to put thy pale, lost lilies out of mind;

But I was desolate and sick of an old passion,

Yea, all the time, because the dance was long:

I have been faithful to thee, Cynara! in my fashion.

—— Ernest Dowson

Lady, why you love me…

I have always been perplexed as to why you women fall in love with us, men. If you think of it, it is crazy! Women are the God’s most wonderful creation. You are the beautiful one, the one through which life sprouts. You are deep as an ocean and calm even in the face of disaster. You are innocent and pure and always ready to smile even when the world is against you. You are gentle in manner and stern in action. And still you fall in love with us: stupid, half angry half confused, irritable, indecisive MEN.

There has to be something really crazy going on in your minds girls! How can you fall in love with someone who criticizes everything from the way you tie your hair, to the size of your handbags and the things you carry in it to the wildly colorful collection of fancy footwear that you have! And then he tells you that YOU NAG! Seriously, had I been a woman I would have never put up with the antics of a dysfunctional and bizarre creature called MAN. It is impossible to comprehend what power in the whole wide universe makes you love and gives you the strength to keep on trying to make us better. I doubt any of the women folks know either. At least the one that wrote the following did not know-

And yet I love this false, this worthless man,
With all the passion that a woman can;
Dote on his imperfections, though I spy
Nothing to love; I love, and know not why.
- Ephelia fl.
‘Female Poems’ (1679) ‘To one that asked me why I loved J.G.’

Well, all I can do is to thank you for believing in our dreams. I must tell you that your belief in us gives us the courage to carry on following our dreams to achieve a better life. It is because of your faith that the world breathes and progresses.