Hey. I have returned to Mysore and already the heat is on. Life has again become a scorecard with mediocre numbers scribbled here and there that nobody including me cares about. But one thing I love about this place is the weather. From the scorching summer heat of Delhi where mercury is constantly hitting 45 degrees, if you are suddenly transported to a place where temperature is always below 30 degree Celsius, all you can say is ‘wow’. However, this post is not about the weather or how beautiful Mysore is. This is about exams.
Don’t worry guys; I am not going to tell you how I faired in my exams or how exams are a territory where recession is always a way of life. We all know that! I will simply talk about what exams do to us. To simply put it, exams are a way of testing a person’s knowledge about certain topics. But is this what exams are only about? Nah, it is just the beginning. A beginning of a journey of continual turmoil and harassment of a child’s spirit. In an examination pattern, some children are going to get more marks while some will eventually end up getting less. Those who get fewer marks are automatically considered ‘weak’ in studies and are treated differently or rather indifferently by both the teachers and parents. Rather than extending a helping hand to those who do not do well, many teachers simply ignore them and stop caring about them. They think they have better work to do. “What can we do if a child is not focusing? It is not our fault. We have to focus on the remaining 40 students in the class who would get into the IIT’s and knock on the doors of IIM’s in the coming days. Why don’t the parents take better care of him?”
But what can parents do? Moms and dads are working 12 hours everyday just to earn some money and give their children all the ‘happiness’ in the world. The child will have a cell phone, latest play station model, a computer and all the gadgetry that he needs to forget his parents. Why are you in such a hurry guys, wait for a few years and he or she would anyways forget you forever. After giving all these gifts and Complan or Boost or Milo or whatever, when a child comes home with a red report card, the parents just do not understand what went wrong. “ We are doing everything we can. We are working 12-hour shifts just to make his future better. We give him all the things he wants, satisfy all his wishes but still he does not gets good marks. What more can we do? Maybe we need to become a little strict.”
Then starts the time when a child’s spirit is flogged everyday. His every action is linked to marks. Everyone gets a reason to say something to the child because he is not getting ‘numbers’. Uncles, aunts, cousins, family friends (the children of who all are in IIT’s or IIM’s or are studying abroad) come and deliver a speech on how to ‘control’ children in a better way.
Then there are classic parent rants,
“Did you hear what aunty said? Why do you make our lives miserable everyday?”
“Vartika lives just two houses ahead. She is also in your class only. Why is it that she comes first while you are nowhere?”
“We will have to open a sabzi shop for you someday because you are good at nothing else.”
As if the parents are not enough, many teachers also deliver the same treatment to the child when he is in school. The spirit of learning that a child has gets a bashing everyday and finally he starts believing that learning whatever is taught at school is not possible for him and he stops trying. This is the day when exams kill a child. OK, I accept that it is not the exams alone but careless attitude on the part of parents and teachers also. But we must accept that competition in our society has created a social stigma against those who are unable to perform well in exams. When would we realize that each child is different? When will we start ‘trying to find out the real reasons’ why a child was unsuccessful in an exam?
You know, we need to start realizing all this pretty soon because we all would also have beautiful kids someday. I hope life and competition do not make us numb. Would we be different in our approach or would we give back to our child what we have seen or faced? Remember, the mission is not to ever let that burning flame of curiosity die in a child.
Potpourri 
Hi Deeps
Its really a good topic to discuss. actually we should de-traumatise education. It can’t b traumatic for parents and children anymore. And added to that i feel that the major problem with we indians is we expect a lot from our child. As all the fingers of hand are nt same similarly everybody in a class cann’t stand 1st or 2nd. Finally a good news for u is- our HRD minister Mr Kpil Sibal proposed to have optional board exam for 10th standard. I guess this may reduce the extent of the “treatment” of both parents & teachers towards children.
Thanks for posting your views Bibhu. Yes we need to de-traumatize education. But i dont feel that making tenth standard boards optional is a solution. Imagine yourself as a child. Do you think your parents and teachers would accept your decision of not sitting for boards? We are just postponing the outcome by doing so. I feel a better solution will be to encourage students to take up fields in which they have interest. In India every parent wants to make his child an engineer or a doctor. If we can change this mentality of parents, we might be able to reduce the impact of this problem. What do you think?
Ya I m 100% agree on ur views..i do think on the same line…actaully i already thought of this and decided that i’ll nt b one of those type father…lets join hands and b an initiator for the programme in future…so that our children should nt be through the same Trauma..!!! nor we….
Yeah sure dude.
Going through the post i just wondered what if Sachin,Sania’s parents thought otherwise when they let their children pursue their hobby as a carrier rather than trying making them lead a socially more acceptable,awarding,”in the herd” kind of life by becoming society’s most favourite professionals like doctors,engineers or even MBA’s for that matter.What our typical middle class parents need to be educated about is the fact that each child has his own skills,interests and should be allowed to take that as a career independently.I agree that there is a strong chance that he/she won’t succeed to the zenith all the time but even then they would believe that at least they got full support from their parents and may be it was destiny which came in the way.
If we only talk about earning money through these “safe professions” then education,i believe is not a detrimental factor there.We have numerous examples to prove that.This makes it all the more essential for modern day parents to realize that they should align their dreams with their child’s and not vice-versa
@Ashish
yeah. i think what you have said is very true ashish. I just wish we can find ways of taking up the issue with the parents and teachers and making them realize that big dreams come true when we get out of the umbrella of safety. But i dont know how to communicate this idea to them in a way that they can understand it. If you have any ideas, please put them forward either over here or in a new post on your blog. Would love to know what you think can be done to solve the problem.
For solutions to the above dillemma please refer to-
http://ash20101985.blogspot.com/2009/06/cultural-divide-or-simply-backwards.html
By going through your post I went somewhere in my thoughts that I have seen such incidents.No doubt u have cited the true picture but you seems to be little bit late buddy as aamir khan already send the right message to the society in the form of “taare zameen par”.Think creative because somewhere there are much more serious probs in the life and what we are doing? Just by writing blogs won’t help. Action is needed so my friend “help” those children who are deprived of primary education and serving as the labour population in our country.
@ Ram Manohar Lohiya
You are right. Another problem with all of us is that we talk too much and do little. But if stupid people like me are thinking about this issue and are concerned enough to write about it, you will appreciate that we are going in the right direction. I am sure we will find a creative solution in some time.
Deepansh…
1st of all…excellent thots and impressive riting!
Wat i feel is tat we cant change the whole system in a day or two. but wat we can do is be different to our kids and let them make their own choices.this way we can set an example tat can be followed.
at the same time, we cant blame our parent generation. they did wat they thot ws best. their only aim was to make our lives a little more better than theirs. mebbe their decisions were wrong or rightbut who are we to judge? at the end of the day, its up to us to move forward in life and not backwards. we have the option of cribbing and stay within the system or to break free and set an example.
hey mercy. thanks fr posting your thoughts. I totally agree with what you say. I hope we make a difference. You are right, we are too small to judge our parent’s decisions. Anyways, every generation learns from the mistakes of the previous generation. True learning as you say is to bring about a change and set an example.
Every country has their issues with the way they educate their children. In Japan (where my sister lives), the competition is too fierce and children often commit suicide. In the United States (where I live), it’s often too relaxed and undisciplined, yet it sometimes turns out some of the most brilliant.
But children need to find and understand their own niche in life and do the best they can at what they’re good at and have somebody in their life who loves them whether they do or not.
@Nobody You are very right. Agree with all that you have said.